The Best Man

One of the first things I learned from my sister and brother inlaw's wedding was how to prepare a best man speech. I thought it would be more daunting a task then it actually proved to be.

I have done training in public speaking and am reasonably comfortable in front of a crowd, however because I had never before done a BM speech I was absolutely scared out of my pants! Despite my shakey knees, sweaty palms and quivering voice, I had so much fun sharing this speech which I made up from jokes I found on the net... The internet really can help you if you just know where to look :) Below you can read my speech which took me roughly 3-4 hours to prepare.

So, the biggest lesson I learned from doing my best man speech is this: HAVE FUN!!!

Have you ever had to do a speech at a wedding? How did it go?

Ashley and Candice’s Wedding – 21 February 2009

Thank you Nathan, for that generous introduction – wonderfully restrained, I thought.

Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen – before I start, the manger of this venue has asked me to request that, for reasons concerning the health and safety of all, none of you get up on top of your tables and chairs during my standing ovation.

What can you say about a man who came from humble beginnings and is now quickly rising to the very top of his profession based solely on intelligence, grit and the willpower to push on where others might fail? A man who is beginning to distinguish himself amongst his peers and where none can say a bad word against him? Well that's enough about me, I'm here to talk about Ashley.

I must admit to being rather nervous about today's speech as it’s a family occasion. The last thing I want to do is cause offence by sharing too much detail about Ashley’s very colorful past. I therefore decided to edit out anything that might upset anyone present. So thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen, and goodnight.

I feel incredibly honored to be the brother of Candice and the best man to Ashley. Thank you for this prestigious task.

I’m sure you can agree with me in stating that the bridesmaids and flower girls look absolutely beautiful today. Only to be outshone by our blushing bride, my sister, Candice. I'm sure you'll agree with me gentlemen, today is a sad day for single men, as another beauty leaves the available list. Ladies, I'm sure you'll agree that today's passing by without much of a ripple.

I’d also like to thank my parents, as well as Ashley’s parents for a wonderful set out and organized day. Not forgetting everyone who has worked tirelessly behind the scenes. And finally, thank you all for attending and joining us in celebrating this wonderful occasion. You all have in some way or another played a role in making this day the happiest day of both Ashley and Candice’s lives.

The happiest day of their lives – Being a philosopher, that phrase got me thinking. Many people say that your wedding day is the happiest day of your life. So, if that's the case and it certainly seems to be, I'd like to ask the husbands amongst us tonight, does that mean its all downhill from here?

Ashley became part of our lives back in I believe around 1998. What a man… I can honestly say that in all the years I've known him, no one has ever questioned his intelligence. In fact, I've never heard anyone even mention it.

I remember arriving home from school absolutely famished and ready to munch down anything I could find only to find out that Ashley had got to the kitchen before me and cleared us out. I thought we’d been robbed. I’ve never known anyone to eat as much 2 minute noodles as this man did.

Let me give you all some worthy advice, if Ashley comes round for a visit; lock your fridge and cupboard doors! Seriously! I learned the hard way.

Besides his fascination for noodles he also had an interest in acting. Thing is, I think he suffered a bit from stage fright. Ashley is the only individual I know of who could drink and act in a school play at the same time. In fact, he is the only person I know of that could finish a bottle of vodka on his own during the show whilst backstage and still get through it still standing.

What I don’t understand Ashley is how you could get through a 2 hour show without anyone noticing but not know how to open a gate? Instead of opening the gate to leave the school premises, Ashley decided to rather go over it… head first.

I came a across an interview in which an old man was asked how he felt about his marriage. He replied by stating that he felt absolutely terrible. When asked why he asked the interviewer, “Do you remember those words till death do you part?” The interviewer replied, “Yes I do.” The old man then replied, “Well I reached the point where I found out that when I said those words I wasn’t making a promise, I was setting a goal.”

Despite this, I have to give it to you Ashley. You’re a man who keeps his word and I know that you love Candice with you whole heart and soul. I wish you and your beautiful wife all the best in the many years that lie ahead of you.Ladies and gentlemen, would you join me please by charging your glasses and raising them as I share a short poem written by William Shakespeare to the newly-weds.

Here's to the bride - may she share everything with her husband...and that includes the housework.

Here's to the groom, a man who kept his head even while he lost his heart.

Here's to the new husband, and here's to the new wife,

may they remain lovers, for all of life.

Let your love endure beyond the last sunset.

May thy life be long and happy,

Thy cares and sorrows few;

And the many friends around thee Prove faithful, fond and true.

May your voyage through life be as happy and as free

As the dancing waves on the deep blue sea

May your love be added,

may it never be subtracted,

may your household multiply, and may your hearts never be divided!!

Ashley take Candice's hand and place your hand over hers. Now, remember this moment and cherish it... because this will be the last time you'll ever have the upper hand!"

Cheers.