If you haven't already heard, Megan and I are looking towards making a lifetime commitment with each other. We are wanting to tie the knot in the next couple of months... This is all very exciting and all, but as you know (if you're married) there is a lot to be done before we can say we are happily married. After chatting over various topics and finally choosing three couples we'd like to mentor us, we felt that it would only be fair to ask our friends (especially in the States) as to what sort of things we should consider doing before we tie the knot. Should we explore finances in greater detail? Should we discuss family structure in detail? What about roles? Can I still hang out with the guys?
We have no idea what we're doing, but are really excited to be heading down this road together. We know that God has big plans for us and we are sure he will share with us what we need to know about marriage before we enter into a life time commitment. I have not yet proposed, but I will be doing so in the near future. I will keep you all posted as to when my status changes from a single man to an engaged man. It's going to be rocking awesome!!!
What has been the best thing about your marriage? What areas of marriage should we really focus on?
8 comments:
CONGRATS!
That is awesome! The best thing about marriage is knowing there is always someone to come home to. Something that I wish we would have done is look at finances a little more. We both have really different ideas on what it should be used for...but i don't think that finances is a reason to not get married, but it is the leading cause of divorce.
I am excited for you two! It is an awesome time! Don't make it stressful on yourselves...as long as you have eachother, and you are following God...what more could you ask for!
Brandon
Stoked Bro. Awesome stuff!
First...who's hand is who's? I would make sure you learn all you can about "The Five Love Languages" Mine is words of affirmation and my wifes if quality time. This hits us where we live on a weekly basis.
Wow! That IS exciting news! Awesome guys:) My 2c worth: I'd say the most NB thing is to have a clear picture of each of your ministry areas and some kind of clue as to how God can bring those two worlds together. Also communication skills and being willing to try understand each others needs is NB. Having said that, while it is great to prepare for marriage, know that marriage is a big step of faith:) As long as you have the following you'll be fine: 1) Marry someone who will merge you more with God 2) Don't marry the person you can live with, marry the person you can't live without
Karolyne
What amazing news, we are so happy for you.
The priest who counselled us before we got married told us many things, but the things that stuck and that we have used are the following:
A marriage stands on a five pillars (Faith, love, communication, finances, sex).
The faith aspect, I think you have sorted...being evenly yoked is so important.
Love, when the initial hormone fueled rush fades (and it does), then it is up to the decision you have made (You can decide to stay in love with your wife and work on it every day...this is where the love languages come in).
Communication, never stop communicating! Talk, talk and talk more!
Finances, always a difficult subject (work together at setting priorities for your spending/saving, follow the biblical principles).
Sex, if there is anything that needs to be spoken about (like previous indiscretions or hangups or concerns) then do so early in the marriage (or before).
One weak pillar weakens the entire structure. GOD is the ultimate strength in these pillars
Completmenting each others ministries is good, but not necessarily the end all and be all. Encourage one another to do what it is you feel God is calling you to do.
Hanging out with the guys, of course...apply the wisdom of all things in moderation. It is good for you to spend some time with guys (and for her to spend some time with her gal-pals).
Above all, enjoy the ride as a team, a full partnership of equals.
And finally, a recent discovery in our marriage is that praying together, first thing in the morning, before you even get up outta bed, is an amazing thing to do...it focusses the entire day on God first. If you both find that you need your quiet time in the morning, great but try and come together just for a few minutes to come to agreement on your individual prayers and pray together.
We could continue, but then it would become a book....having said all of this, just enjoy it...it is WONDERFUL.
God bless,
Wayne and Natasha
Brandon - Thanks dude! Knowing you I thought you'd say the best part was .....!!! Kids read this blog so I needed to blur that out. Hmmm... cool, we will def spend time chatting bout those finances then. When we see you, we'll be Mr and Mrs Keith... now, where'd I put that ring.... :P
Rob - Thanks dude!!! Hope the youth are treating you well!
Robert - LOL!!! Those are definitely not my hands! My hands are more good looking. My senior pastor here also recommended we read the 5 love languages. Just out of interest, what are they? Thanks for the wise words of wisdom!!!
Karolyne - When it comes to ministry, I think we couldn't be more clear. God is really spoiling us in that area. Although He has given us a large amount of work. I love that qoute: "Don't marry the person you can live with, marry the person you can't live without." Thanks Karolyne!!!
Wayne & Natasha - You guys are just legends - always were and always will be. Thanks for sharing those 5 pillars with us. We have already briefly discussed them and will definitely discuss them in more detail in the near future. There is no need to worry bout the length of the comments! Please FEEL FREE TO SHARE. I would've chosen you guys as a couple to mentor us, but you would ditch us and choose the Aussies!!! :P
Thanks all to everyone for your comments and thoughts. They have already sparked up great conversation between Megs and myself...
Not that I know ANYTHING about marriage...but I'll try to give my best advice. :)
First of all, make sure you really know each other, in and out. No "skeletons in the closet" so to speak.
Second, I would go over EVERYTHING. Not EVERYTHING is a make or break ya thing, but it's important to know that she wants 10 kids and wants you to stay at home with them and she wants to have the money to buy 30 pairs of shoes a month. :) I know Megan won't say that, but still. I would study those important things together and make a compromise before you get into it.
Third, realize going into it that times will sometimes suck, just make sure you're both willing to keep communication open at all times and support each other at all times.
That's really all I got. :)
Jayma.... let us hope that she NEVER wants to buy that many shoes!!! Thanks for the heads up tho!!!
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