I committed adultery and I’m sorry…

“I’m sitting at my computer with tears forming. I am praying, but not with words. This prayer is born in my heart. At this very moment, I’m aware of God’s presence. He is here, with me. I’m sitting in a comfortable chair, typing these words and overwhelmed by God. As I’m typing – or trying to – I am worshiping him, needing him, crying to him. Nothing is wrong. My family is healthy. Our church is growing. Life is good. Yet everything is wrong. As good as everything appears, I’m in spiritual agony.” – Craig Groeschel

This past week I’ve been reading an interesting book. Perhaps it’s the book I was meant to read at this specific time in my spiritual life. It’s a book which has challenged me in more ways then one. It made me really think why I may be on my death bed with regards to my spiritual life. It made me realize that I’ve been living an adulterous lifestyle. It made me realize I’ve lost it.

It didn’t offer me all the answers, but it has got me thinking. Perhaps I’m just not heading in the right direction. Perhaps Herbet Cooper is right… I’m not driving, I’m making use of cruise control. I need to find it again.

Jesus became an everyday aspect to me. He was just something that was apart of my everyday life, but wasn’t really apart of my everyday life. Does that even make sense!?!

That got me thinking… and Craig put my thoughts across the way I needed to hear it: I’m an adulterous individual.

I’ve realized that I’ve been following a bride I shouldn’t be following. I’ve been infatuated with a bride who is not my own. Everything I’ve done for days, months possibly even years has revolved around this bride. I’ve been adulterous. She has a husband… and it’s not me…

The Church has consumed me.

I’ve realized that my eyes were not in the right area. It was all about the church and not Him.

It’s time for me to repent and change my ways… because I know and believe that He is the source of life and without Him, I will not be able to live, and the church would seize to exist…